I used to hate wearing Indian clothes. Now I love it.

Written by Charlene Behal

I always struggled with my relationship with traditional cultural clothing. Growing up as a mixed race Asian Australian (my ethnic background is Indian, Filipino and Vietnamese), the ‘Australian’ in me failed to see the beauty of it. I struggled feeling fully connected to my cultures because I had many of them, and being an English monolingual born and raised in Australia.

When it came to traditional clothing, I thought, “why would I wear that when I can wear a ‘normal’ dress just like everyone else?” Those occasions where I had to wear traditional clothing were rare for me, but I never enjoyed it. It was just something I had to do. It would mostly be at Indian weddings, and all I could think about how uncomfortable it was. I always stood out as a mixed girl compared to all the other Indian girls, so I never felt a sense of belonging.

A shift happened in the summer of 2018 when my uncle was getting married. My uncle used to live with my family when I was in primary school, and he would take me and my siblings to school. He was a just a fun-loving younger uncle who made bad jokes, and we grew quite close. After he moved away, he met his now wife, and I was excited to see the whole family together again at his wedding in Mauritius.

I skipped the last few days of my Year 11 classes to attend it. I have been to extravagant Indian weddings before (it’s quite normal in Indian culture to attend weddings of people you barely know), but this was the first time I was attending an event to a close relative of mine, so it was a very special occasion.

I had never had a lehenga (a traditional Indian ankle-length skirt worn with a cropped blouse called a choli, and scarf called a chuni) tailor-made for me before. My mother isn’t Indian; I never had a prominent female Indian female figure in my life, and getting a tailor-made lehenga was something that only mothers and daughters would do.

My grandma had moved to Australia a few years earlier, and I started to develop a relationship with her that I never had growing up. Suddenly in the months leading up to the wedding, I had fittings and measurements with my grandma to get a lehenga tailored to me. She made calls to India to get it made just right.

My tailor-made lehenga, worn with my choli and chuni

When the lehenga arrived, I tried it on. I looked in the mirror and I felt an unprecedented emotion. I didn’t just see me, but I saw a rich, beautiful history and I felt like I was a part of something much bigger than myself. 

My younger self was too naive to understand the cultural significance of wearing traditional clothing. But the whole experience of connecting with my grandma, getting my lehenga made just for me, and then seeing myself in it was the turning point where I wanted to become more connected and involved to my heritage.

At the wedding in my lehenga, I really felt a sense of pride in my culture. Seeing the other girls wearing something similar made me feel like I was a part of a community. Having traditional mehendi, or henna, on my hands, and wearing a bindi and intricate jewellery made me feel like royalty. It was more than just wearing a piece of clothing; this was the beginning of me embracing my roots and feel pride about my identity.

My family with the groom-to-be

My approach to fashion in general has changed. Even with casual clothing, I rarely shop at Australian stores and switched to Asian based stores. Even my makeup style has changed; I used to watch tutorials of white people who had very different facial features to me, but now I watch Asian tutorials and use their techniques to help accentuate my features.

Coming back home, I wanted to do everything I could to unlearn those prejudices I had internalised for so many years.  Now I look forward to attending Indian weddings and choosing traditional dresses. When it comes to everyday fashion, I rarely shop at Australian shops anymore and choose Asian designers instead. To this day, I have become dedicated to consuming content made by Asian creators all over the world. Anything from listening to podcasts, music, reading articles and books by Asian creators makes me feel inspired.

For so long, I wanted to Westernise myself so much that I only realised I was doing it when I stopped. Traditional clothing is something that I embrace now and want to wear as much as I can, not only for my Indian side but also my Filipino and Vietnamese side, to make up for the lost time over the years.

I used to think that standing out because I was mixed was a bad thing, but now I realise that being different is my superpower. I now know that starting conversations about race with people like me shows that we are not alone in this fight, and in reaching this point of celebration.